Life Half Full. . .: Looking Back

How many times, when asked in an interview if one has any regrets, does the interviewee says something along the lines of..."No, no regrets"? It seems nearly every time. I kinda get it. Like all those folks who say they have "no regrets," I appreciate the fact that I wouldn't likely be where or who I am today if it weren't for some of those so-called "regrets." In a certain respect, it is the "regrets" and I what I have done with them that have made me who I am and have made my life what it is today--indeed, something for which I am extremely grateful.
And yet, that does not mean that--despite being perfectly happy and thankful for the very spot that I am in at this moment--a spot that I quite possibly wouldn't be in if not for many of the so-called "regrets," there are already so many things in my short life to date that I probably would have done differently if I had them to relive all over again.

When I look back over this life of mine that is so much richer and better and kinder than anything I deserve, I have "regrets." Yes, I have regrets. And not just the trivial things like my hairstyle in high school or the watermelon pink pants that I bought. No, I mean the real kind--the "regrets" that www.bing.com defines as "feelings or expressions of sorrow and guilt for a past action or event that you now wish had not happened or had happened differently." Real regret.

Looking back, I regret that I was more preoccupied with getting good grades and impressing my teachers than I was with actually learning and understanding.

I regret that I was more concerned about preparing for my future than I was about living in the present.

I regret that I was quite so "straight-laced" in college and growing up, and that I wasn't more open to new people and new ideas.

I regret that I let myself be influenced by concern about reputation and success, instead of figuring out what really mattered to me and pursuing that--regardless of the implications or what people might think.

I regret that so many times in life I have put myself ahead of others instead of putting others first.

I regret that I haven't done all the good things that I should or could have done.

I regret unrequited love--from both perspectives, because it hurts and makes no sense.

I regret that I was so afraid of failing or making mistakes or looking silly.

I regret that my perspective has been to focus on the two wrong answers rather than the fifty that are right.

I regret not always being present.

I regret associating the approval of others with success and self-worth.

I regret thinking (as I often still do) that my presence and my actions don't really matter.

I regret that I've judged others without having walked in their shoes.

I regret pride and fear and selfishness.

And, I wonder, so often, where and who I would be if I had none of these regrets.

I will move forward, trying to live tomorrow better than today, living intentionally and trying to learn something from yesterday. I do not regret knowing that I likely will have more regrets. After all, even with regrets, life can be quite full ....who knew?

Here's looking back at the highlight of April...Easter... A weekend when there were few, if any, regrets.